10.20.16: Comma sense
SOME OF YOU may have seen this on Facebook recently. I’m not sure it went viral, but my bride of almost-47 years recently brought it to my attention.
One word: Ouch!
I’m an advocate of minimal punctuation. I don’t believe in using one more comma, period or semicolon than necessary. But this is, well, very bad.
I’m sure we could come up with, perhaps, a half-dozen or so fixes to this, and I’d be delighted to see yours. I’ve done some reworking (and then some rewriting) below. Please let me know if what I’ve done makes sense to you.
Changing the punctuation:
Among those interviewed were Merle Haggard’s two ex wives, Kris Kristofferson, and Robert Duvall.
This book is dedicated to my parents, Ayn Rand, and God.
Highlights of Peter Ustinov’s global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod, and a dildo collector.
Among those interviewed were Merle Haggard’s two ex wives. Others interviewed were Kris Kristofferson and Robert Duvall.
This book is dedicated to my parents, to Ayn Rand and to God.
Highlights of Peter Ustinov’s global tour include an encounter with Nelson Mandela, with an 800-year-old demigod, and with a dildo collector.
Those are my fixes. What about you? What would you do?